Tears of Lys (and other “poisons”)

“A dozen crystals, no larger than seeds, rattled across the parchment he’d been reading. They shone like jewels in the candlelight, so purple that the maester found himself thinking that he had never truly seen the color before… In the Citadel, it was simply called the strangler.” -Clash of Kings

” The Strangler”

To make your own Tears of Lys, or other Westerosi “poisons”, you’ll need a few simple things.

rock candy, in purple, clear, and other colors of your choice
small glass vials

Break the candy up into individual crystals. Try not to overhandle it, as the dye is usually applied to the outside of the candy, rather than mixed in with the sugar. Divide a few crystal between the vials, and hand out to guests as party favors. Remember that these are costly and rare poisons, so a few go a long way. For extra instructions, as well as printable Westerosi “poison” labels, check out the GoT party planning guide.

“This is a crueler poison, but tasteless and odorless, hence easier to hide. The tears of Lys, men call it.” -A Feast for Crows

Party Game: try to sneak your “tears” into others drinks throughout the evening. Whoever gets a crystal in his/her glass is “dead” for the purposes of the game. Anyone left alive wins. If there are multiple winners, decide the champion by how many other guests he/she “killed”. You can also use “poisons” of different colors, especially if the drink of choice is white wine or something similarly see through.

Party Invitations

Here’s what we’re using for our party invites. If you’ve already sent out invites, the template would work as a beautiful menu. For full and in-depth instructions, check out the GoT party planning guide.

Step 1: download this image, and paste it into a Word file.

Step 2: Find a fancy medieval font you like on a site like Dafont.com

Step 3: Create a text box on top of the image, then write in the text of your invite.

Step 4: Save as a PDF, then print out as many copies as you need. Try printing on paper that looks like vellum, or on tea-stained printer paper.

Step 5: Add any embellishments you like, such as wax seals, burned edges, etc. The trick to burning edges is to tear them first; in this way, you can better control the burn pattern. We sent our invites out in fancy envelopes, embossed with a special pen, rubber stamp, and gold powder.

Embossed with calligraphy pen and rubber stamp

Mock Dormice

“Aggo gave an urchin a copper for a skewer of honey-roasted mice and nibbled them as he rode. Jhogo bought a handful of fat white cherries. Elsewhere they saw beautiful bronze daggers for sale, dried squids and carved onyx…” -A Clash of Kings

Our Thoughts

This was a dish from the books that we couldn’t actually make, but after giving it some thought, we came up with a fun solution.

These are tasty little morsels. The flaky pastry melts in your mouth, while the sausage pops with juices when you bite into it. Plus, they look like mice. There is a residual feeling of decadence that accompanies the eating of these tiny faux creatures, bringing you just a tad closer to your favorite Roman emperors and Dothraki bodyguards.

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Tansy Tea

Tansy Tea

We realize that this is probably in poor taste, but we found some dried tansy at a medieval market a few weeks back, and just couldn’t help ourselves.

Full Disclaimer: Nobody should try this using this tea for its Westerosi uses. Nor should you drink it in any great quantity. To be safe, you probably just shouldn’t drink it at all…

Our Thoughts:

The taste of the tea on its own is light, with a faintly medicinal herbal quality that is not entirely unpleasant. However, a dash of honey banishes the tiny traces of a lurking bitterness. Given that there is no evidence of proper tea plants in either Westeros or Essos, it seems safe to say that the noble houses, such as, say, the Tullys, would have enjoyed herbal teas. In such a case, one heavily honeyed herbal brew might easily be substituted for another on the sly, if a noble daughter needed to be available to make a good match…

Tart Persimmon Wine

“While the good masters of Astapor conferred among themselves in low voices, Dany sipped tart persimmon wine from a tall silver flute…” (Storm of Swords)

Tart Persimmon Wine, on the right

Our Thoughts:

This was our first foray into home brewing, and we’re totally hooked now. You would have been amused to see us come home and rush to the kitchen to watch the airlock bubble as the yeast did its work. After following the process below, we let our bottles sit for about 3 months, then cracked open a bottle for sampling.

It is indeed very tart, and toes the edge of being just a bit too dry. It’s fresh and crisp, with only a hint of the fruit it started as. Vote? A very fun project, with a nice, drinkable result. Dany would drink it, and so would we. Try serving very chilled, with a swirl of honey, in a tall flute.

*FURTHER UPDATE*

It’s good! Several months after bottling, we cracked a bottle open to taste, and found that the flavors are mellowing beautifully. It still has the characteristic tartness for the wine Dany drinks, but is now downright pleasant to drink.

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It’s good to be the King… Robert Baratheon’s Ideal Meal

No wonder King Robert is so large, and there’s little question why the crown was six million gold dragons in debt.

Cheese.

And ale. And venison, mead, bacon, wine, tarts, and a plethora of other tasty, tasty foodstuffs. This meal left two of us utterly stuffed. The roasted veg were all soft and delicious, slightly caramelized from cooking in duck fat and cider. The venison was simply mindblowing. I have no words. The desserts were a wonderful conclusion, and proof of my theory that dessert occupies a different space in the stomach than does dinner. Sweet and delicious, we managed several of each before succumbing to a sensory overload. The honeycakes (forthcoming!) were absolutely divine, though. The Menu

Acorn Flour

“When an oak-tree is felled the whole forest echoes with it; but a hundred acorns are planted silently by some unnoticed breeze.”

-Thomas Carlisle, 1795-1881

Our Thoughts:

The smell of boiling acorns is entirely unexpected. From the bubbling pot, tendrils of steam curl up, bearing the familiar oakey scents of brown sugar and vanilla that are found in some wines, compliments of the cask they were aged in. Together, absurdly, the boiling mixture smells like creme brulee.

The resulting flour also tastes sweeter than we anticipated, with a subtle nutty flavor. It is very rich in protein, so a little goes a long way. We began mixing some in with our oatcakes, and have been very happy with the result.

We had expected this post to be a grueling sort of undertaking, and were pleasantly surprised to find how straightforward it is. It is a nice project to have going on the side while you prepare the real meal of the day. We boiled and strained ours three times just to be sure we got rid of the bitter tannins, but two times probably would have been sufficient.

So, with relatively little work, acorn flour is a definite win in our book! How to Make It!

Pigeon Pie

“‘My uncle hasn’t eaten his pigeon pie.’ Holding the chalice one-handed, Joff jammed his other into Tyrion’s pie. ‘It’s ill luck not to eat the pie…” (Storm of Swords)
Pigeon Pie

Thoughts:

This makes for a rich, hearty meat pie. Pigeon meat is dark like duck, although not nearly so fatty. The silky texture of the meat is the real show stopper, wonderfully soft and tender, complimenting the light flaky pastry crust. Although I used the suggested spices from a medieval pigeon pie recipe, I made mine much the same as a chicken pot pie, so it oozes with vegetables and a creamy sauce. Because of the richness of the pigeon, a small slice will satisfy, and it’s best paired with additional sides. All in all, a delicious dish, and a wonderful new addition to any feast table, especially for a wedding! ;)

This recipe went into the cookbook, but shortly after making it, I found another amazing medieval recipe for pigeon pie, with artichoke hearts, and bacon. Check out that recipe here.

Cream of Mushroom and Escargot Soup

Medieval Cream of Mushroom and Escargot Soup

“The first dish was a creamy soup of mushrooms and buttered snails, served in gilded bowls. Tyrion had scarcely touched the breakfast, and the wine had already gone to his head, so the food was welcome. He finished quickly.” -A Storm of Swords

Modern Cream of Mushroom and Escargot Soup

Our Thoughts:

An inherently a rich, decadent dish, the modern soup was devine. The creamy texture of the escargot is countered nicely by the fresh, clean taste of parsley. The wine in the broth adds a depth of flavor, and the longer the broth is cooked down, the creamier and more decadent it becomes. Also makes fantastic leftovers!

The medieval dish was an odd one- not bad, but very different. Extremely spiced, the almond milk just didn’t seem to have the proper robustness to support the clove and mace. That said, it was a very interesting dish, and very typically medieval in it’s flavor profile.

Recipes are available in the Official Cookbook!

Lemonsweet

“Arianne drew the child away. ‘You must be hungry. We have dates and cheese and olives, and lemonsweet to drink. You ought not eat or drink too much, though…” -A Feast for Crows

17th C. and Modern Lemonsweet

Thoughts:

These recipes produce two very different lemonades. The older recipe results in an intense, kick in the face sort of lemonade, with all the vibrancy of fresh lemons, and a sweet tang that goes on and on.

The modern recipe, ironically, makes a lemonade that tastes very old worldy. Using honey instead of sugar reduces the immediate sweetness prevalent in many modern lemonades, while the unexpected taste of the vanilla will make you stop and work the flavors over again in your mouth.

Both are excellent and refreshing on hot summer days. In the future, we might try infusing the modern version with just a sprig of fresh thyme or rosemary, while the older recipe could do with a bit of (non-traditional) carbonation.

Recipes available in the Cookbook.

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